ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
to rephrase that?
people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
to rephrase that?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy on him!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
-- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
pulse?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.
5 comments:
Prevejo que daqui a uma década as urgências dos hospitais vão passar a ter um terço da frequência habitual. Vá-se lá saber porquê.
esses advogados são formados cá em Portugal? falam muito bem em inglês técnico...
Porreiro pah!... um momento que vou ali buscar umas pipocas e ja aqui volto para acabar de ler isto...Ja estou meio mijado com o rizo... back in a sec....
num çãum os adbugadus que falaum muito bem bife técnico, aquilo é uma prova de avalição para os juízes cá da terra das pias, mas cumo vem da UE e inda num foi traduzida, os magistrados recusam-se a fazer a prova, purque nãum aprenderam bife e ainda menos técnico...
mas temos cá quem faça declarações igualmente fabulásticas: "estar vivo é o contrário de estar morto", por exemplo...
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