Wednesday, September 8

da série enquanto aguardemus a sentença

vejamos o efeito de outros programas Novas Oportunidades ....



 ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 WITNESS: I forget.
 ATTORNEY: You forget?  Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
 sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
 WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different
 attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
 WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
 WITNESS: Guess.
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
 people?
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like
 to rephrase that?
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 ATTORNEY: And Mr.. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
 autopsy on him!
 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

 -- And the best for last: ---
 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
 pulse?
 WITNESS: No..
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
 began the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
 practicing law.

5 comments:

Nuno Gonçalves said...

Prevejo que daqui a uma década as urgências dos hospitais vão passar a ter um terço da frequência habitual. Vá-se lá saber porquê.

Animal said...

esses advogados são formados cá em Portugal? falam muito bem em inglês técnico...

Anonymous said...

Porreiro pah!... um momento que vou ali buscar umas pipocas e ja aqui volto para acabar de ler isto...Ja estou meio mijado com o rizo... back in a sec....

e-ko said...

num çãum os adbugadus que falaum muito bem bife técnico, aquilo é uma prova de avalição para os juízes cá da terra das pias, mas cumo vem da UE e inda num foi traduzida, os magistrados recusam-se a fazer a prova, purque nãum aprenderam bife e ainda menos técnico...

Animal said...

mas temos cá quem faça declarações igualmente fabulásticas: "estar vivo é o contrário de estar morto", por exemplo...